Helping Children Understand and Cope With Fires Without Increasing Anxiety

Age-Appropriate Conversations That Help Children Feel Safe During Emergencies

When wildfires dominate the news cycle and smoke fills the air, many parents are left asking the same question: How much should I tell my child? The answer depends largely on age, temperament, and what children are already sensing around them. Because the truth is, children almost always know when something stressful is happening, even if they cannot fully understand it yet.

In communities across Los Angeles and Ventura County this week, conversations among parents have shifted beyond evacuation routes and emergency bags. More and more families are discussing the emotional impact these situations have on children, from toddlers waking up with night terrors to preschoolers asking whether firefighters can save their homes.

For younger children, experts say the goal is not to overwhelm them with details, but to provide calm, reassuring information.

“Children do not need every detail to feel safe,” said Tanya Sorkin, Chief Program Officer at Children’s Burn Foundation. What they need most is reassurance that trusted adults, firefighters, and emergency responders are working hard to protect them.

How Fire Conversations Differ by Age

Toddlers & Preschoolers

Children under five often think concretely and emotionally rather than logically. They may not fully understand what a wildfire is, but they do understand when adults feel anxious.

Simple language is often best:

₋          "There is a fire nearby."

₋          "Firefighters are working very hard to keep everyone safe."

₋          "We have a plan to keep you safe."

₋          "Mommy and Daddy are here with you."

At these ages, routines and emotional tone matter more than lengthy explanations.

Many parents are also discovering that involving children in small preparedness activities can actually reduce anxiety. Experts recommend preparing emergency plans, evacuation routes, and comfort bags before children feel actively frightened or threatened by nearby fires. When children are included in age-appropriate planning and given choices or responsibilities, they often feel a greater sense of control and emotional security.

One Southern California mother shared that allowing her children to help pack a small emergency bag with favorite books, stuffed animals, and comfort items gave them a sense of control during an uncertain week.

“I filmed them packing because what they chose was so sweet it made me cry,” shared a local mom. “It reminded me that children are looking for comfort, familiarity, and connection.”

Elementary-Aged Children

Slightly older children often want more information and may ask practical questions about evacuation, smoke, or losing belongings.

For school-aged children, experts also recommend first asking what children may already know or have heard from friends, social media, texting, or news coverage. Rather than assuming what information children have absorbed, parents can create space for questions, listen calmly to concerns, and offer reassurance even if they do not yet have every answer themselves.

This is a good age to involve children in:

₋          Reviewing family evacuation plans

₋          Identifying emergency contacts

₋          Packing comfort items

₋          Learning basic fire safety

₋          Understanding the role of firefighters and emergency responders

Importantly, experts recommend limiting constant exposure to frightening news coverage.

“What matters most is creating space for children to ask questions, feel heard, and know trusted adults are there to support them through uncertainty,” said Maria Tome, CBF Support Group Facilitator.

Signs Your Child May Be Feeling Stress

Not all anxiety shows up as verbal fear. Children often communicate stress through behavior changes instead.

Parents may notice:

₋          Increased tantrums

₋          Sleep disruptions or nightmares

₋          Clinginess

₋          Regression

₋          Irritability

₋          Trouble concentrating

₋          Headaches

₋          Stomachaches

₋          Sudden emotional outbursts

These reactions are normal during stressful situations.

Ways to Help Children Feel Safe

Families cannot always control uncertainty, but they can create emotional safety.

Experts recommend:

₋          Maintaining routines when possible

₋          Speaking calmly

₋          Limiting exposure to distressing media

₋          Validating feelings without escalating fear

₋          Being available for questions and conversations

₋          Modeling healthy coping skills

And perhaps most importantly, reminding children they are not facing scary situations alone.

As communities across Southern California continue navigating wildfire season, many parents are realizing preparedness is not only about emergency kits and evacuation routes.

It is also about helping children feel emotionally safe, connected, and supported through uncertainty.

Resources & Guidance:

₋       Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy

₋       Nurtured First Parenting

₋       Tiny Stars Sleep

₋       American Burn Association (ABA)

₋       Guidance and educational insights from Children’s Burn Foundation staff and support group facilitators

₋       Reviewed by Annette Iversen Rasmussen, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist and University Professor